Read This Book!

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters. Amazing, absorbing, rich, suspenseful, passionate, intriguing, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic! I will not tell you a single thing about it, not one word. Not. One. Word. You simply must get this book by whatever means possible and begin reading immediately. Do not read any reviews, do not even read the back of the book. I won't even include a link because I don't want you to read anything except the book itself. Do not talk to anyone (thank you Alicia for this excellent bit of advice...) just read, and read, and read. I read this standing at the kitchen counter pretending to cook dinner, sitting on the edge of the bed while I was supposed to be putting on my shoes, and many other unmentionable places including rooms where I could lock the door and pretend to be otherwise "occupied." And all the while that I was speeding, careening to the book's conclusion I was anticipating my sadness over finishing it. And now it's done. I hardly know what to do with myself. So please, when you've finished (and believe me it will be fast) email me so we can "discuss." There's so much to think about, so much to turn over in my brain, so much to talk about. Ack! I need a book club!

Photobooth Friday #3: Me and My Dad

I had the best time ever as a kid. My parents were young. My dad worked nights, so I had both parents at home with me all day, every day. They hardly slept. I know they tried to craft their art in quiet moments, but I was more fun to them than anything else. They must have been tired, they had to be. But all of my early memories involve playing, reading, laughing, and running around with the complete attention and devotion of both my parents. It was fun beyond fun. And my dad was the best playmate ever. My mom too, but after a while she had to attend to all that mom stuff that didn't get done while she was playing with us. So my dad kept me busy and happy. He still does.

My mom watches Zöe on Wednesday mornings, and last week my dad took the morning off so he could stay home and play too. I stood there, watching the two of them on the floor surrounded by all of my old Fisher-Price toys (the garage, the house, the castle...) and it took everything in me not to cry. Those days of my dad and I playing on the floor seem so long ago, yet here he is with Zöe and it thrills me to see things all come full circle. But then he put the King on the little potty from the house and I was laughing through the watery-sheen over my eyes, while Zöe made a pee-pee sound and giggled too.

So that's us. Me and my dad. I think it might be 1974, probably the same photo booth at the dime store downtown where I took the photos with my grandma. My favorite has got to be the first one in which, yes, he has a cigar. Total Paper Moon. We're a team, pulling a con, on the lamb from the law and loving every minute.

El Diablo

One of my lovely Valentine's Day surprises was this devilishly delectable treat my parents picked up at Alma Chocolate. It's a hand-made chocolate actually covered with edible 23 karat gold leaf, and is damn cool lookin'. Portlander Sarah Hart, in true DIY fashion, started off selling chocolates from her home, at Farmer's Market, First Thursday and the like. She has now opened her own little brick-and-mortar shop on NE 28th and the buzz is great. Apparently she can't keep up with the demand for her amazing edible icons. And this must be true, as my dad went back for more the next day and the place was completely cleaned out. Fancy that! I'm enjoying looking at it so much, though, that I don't know if I can bring myself to actually eating it...well just maybe some from his ear...

100 Days of Painting...

...at least. Well, not 100 consecutive days. But I did start this painting project way back in November. When we moved in, the kitchen color scheme was deep orange and olive green. Most likely way cool for my grandparents in 1975, and way cool today by retro standards, but I was really ready for a change. The kitchen is South facing and gets lots of incredible light, but the colors were really dark. I wanted to lighten things up and I think these two shades of yellow did the trick. Eventually we may remodel, but that's a few years down the road at least. So a paint remodel will do for now. Let me tell you, kitchens are hard to paint. Especially when you are painting every darn surface, need to use the cupborads and drawers practically every minute and have an almost two-year-old on the scene. So over 100 days later I'm finally finished! I still need 5 more knobs, two switchplates, and some repainting of the woodwork, but the hardest part is done. Whew! I finished last night around 2 am and celebrated with some Oreo's dunked in milk while I watched the last bit of Latenight with Conan. Today I have a hangover without the alcohol, and think I'll probably be in bed by 8. But it's done! Woo-hoo! For some more kitchen photos and the even better "before" ones, click here.

Mrs. Redrose Has Landed!

Zöe and I made a little trip over to Alicia's shop this morning to pick up the beautiful cagelet we were lucky enough to score last week. Mrs. Redrose is her name and along with her shiny birdcage of bits and bobbins, she is the lovliest darling ever. We hung her cage with a red polka dot ribbon from the curtain rod in Zöe's room, and it works perfectly. I can't wait for some sunshine (from those South-facing windows) to shine through the pink curtains and give our new birdie some well-deserved glow. Zöe sang a sweet birdsong to her "caw-caw" as I rocked her at naptime.
Too bad she was hell-on-wheels earlier at the shop, screaming, slithering, and running for the puddles outside when all I really wanted to do was have a nice chat and look at all of Alicia's great stuff. Oh well. I guess that will have to be next time, when I go in without children. So thank you Alicia, we're very happy and love, love, love our dear Mrs. Redrose!

Photobooth Friday : Rose Festival

This is our family right after we moved to Portland from Los Angeles in June of 2002. I have so few photobooth photos that are all still intact as a strip, and I do love the notion of a "series" so much, that I decided to post this one as a unit. The photo was taken in a booth at the Rose Festival "Fun Center" at Waterfront Park downtown. For those of you who live in Portland this needs no explanation. For those of you who do not, suffice it to say that Rose Festival is two weeks of pure insanity in which carneys, sailors and other such colorful characters inhabit the city.

I was so excited to be back home, and even more excited be in the thick of Rose Festival after missing it for 10 years, that my big fat head is the center piece of each of these photos. It's not easy to squeeze four people into the fame of a photo booth. Especially when two of them are squirmy as anything and don't understand what you're doing there in the first place. Looking at this now, it seems so incomplete without Zöe Dott as part of our family! But back then, who knew she's be gracing the scene? Life is so fun that way...

Thanks, Andrea, for starting such a fun group! You can check out more photobooth photos through her blog Hula Seventy. And if you know of any photo booths around Portland, please let me know. I've been itchin' to take some photobooth photos and can't think of where to find a single one!

SPT : Personal History #3

My brother Cabel was born the summer that I turned six. The day ranks up there, along with my wedding day and the births of my children, as one of the top five best days of my life. Because even though we had (and still do!) fantastic, loving, fun, creative, involved and inspiring parents, that boy was mine...all mine. I was ready, willing and able to be his mom too.

My grandparents were babysitting me when my mom gave birth. I remember playing a board game with my grandmother in the living room as the phone rang. We went running down the hall to hear the news as my grandfather answered the phone in his office (where I sit right now). I rounded the corner in time to see his beaming face exclaiming with delight, "It's a boy!" I couldn't have been happier and immediately began counting the minutes until I could hold Cabel Maxfield in my arms.

My dad took me to Sears and bought me a new outfit for our trip to the hospital. A Scotch plaid jumper with tights and shiny shoes. It felt so foreign and exciting to be shopping only with my dad, for such an important costume. How much more grown up could I be? My ego was dashed mere hours later when, in 1976 hospital fashion, I wasn't even allowed onto the maternity floor. So I was carefully positioned on the padded bench outside of the elevator doors with instructions to wait for my parents and the baby. The baby! Minutes were hours. Each time the elevator doors opened I stood, only to be greeted by masses of unfamiliar faces. Sitting, standing, sitting, standing. Finally among the strangers emerged my lovely parents and the sweetest bundle of baby I had ever seen. The reward for my patience was the honor of holding him, on my lap, for the entire car ride home. Not until I was a mother myself did I realize what a huge leap of faith that had been, even in a world without infant carriers and child restraints.

We've always been friends, always been close, even through the bouts of normal sibling rivalry that came with age. There were the plays I concocted in which I coerced him to act, my ankles he grabbed from the darkness under the bed, the diary he pried open and read unbeknownst to me. We spent an entire summer filming a stop-action Lego movie and many, many times he made me laugh so hard that whatever I was drinking flew out of my nose, chocolate milkshake being by far the most painful. And through it all I've always been bursting with pride for him, as beaming as our own parents over his successes and accomplishments. He'll be 30 this summer, hard to believe. He's become an amazing grown-up guy: smart, musical, interesting, funny, kind, passionate about life and living it joyfully. I just can't help myself, I'm as enchanted with Cabel as I was staring at his tiny fingers through the turns and stoplights of that first car ride home.

On My Nightstand

My goodness. After talking it up so heroically here like I was some kind of fantastic reading machine, I've finally read Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. Why did it take me so long? I'm shamed to say it's not because I've been reading other great books, but simply that life got in the way for a while. I find it so hard to keep all of the interests, obsessions, and duties juggling successfully without letting something drop for a bit. So there you have it.

At any rate, once I got started I could hardly stop. I had been doing a lot of reading, historical fiction mostly, about Victorian London when I picked up this book way back in the summer. Love the time frame, love the location. And I've always been a big fan of the coming-of-age genre. Tipping the Velvet combines each of those things I love, with a twist. It's about Nancy Astley, a girl from a seaside oyster-town who forms a friendship and then falls in love with a music hall "masher." Miss Kitty Butler is a male-impersonator, a pretty boy in elegant clothes who sings and charms each music hall audience, a cross-dressing curiosity in 1880's England. The story follows Nancy with a strong narrative voice as she makes her way through London's music halls, high society, the streets of Piccadilly and the London slums. As her story unravels, spiraling downward at each turn, Nancy discovers the complexities of the human condition. She ultimately gains a true sense of herself, her sexuality and her place as a lesbian in the world around her.

Tipping the Velvet is such a fantastic read that I just bought Sarah Waters Fingersmith, but I probably won't get back to you on that one until Halloween. In the meantime I'll be checking out the BBC's version, now out on DVD.

Happy Birthday Max!

It's hard to believe that five years ago, in the teeming metropolis of Los Angeles, our dear sweet Max was born. Jack was a mere 21-months-old, the age little Zöe is today, when we brought Max home from Cedars-Sinai. He was able only to speak in sounds and noises reminiscent of Gerald McBoing-Boing. Saying, "I'm so happy to have a baby brother!" was most certainly out of the question, but he was able to muster an enthusiastic "MA!" Thankfully Max was a dream baby; calm, content and perfect in every way. He was happy to be held, happy to lay in his basinet, happy to sit in his bouncy chair. He would nurse at night and go right back to sleep all by himself. It was truly a wonder to behold. With an energetic almost-two-year-old nipping at my heels I considered myself supremely lucky.

We lived in a cool, enormous, Spanish-style old Hollywood kind of apartment right near the intersection of Wilshire and Fairfax.
The LA County Museum of Art was pretty much across the street and adjacent to that were the La Brea Tar Pits. The famous Farmer's Market was only a short walk away. We busied ourselves at the park, the Market and the mall (Beverly Center), and made weekend day trips to Manhattan Beach, Griffith Park, and Pasadena. It was fun!

Well within the first year of Max's life it became clear to us that although they were brothers, Jack and Max were as different as peanut butter and jelly. While Jack was a boy's boy, busying himself with construction trucks and Brio trains, Max would spend hours looking at books, playing with stuffed aimals, and studying the faces of people around him. He was always happy and easy and almost eerily good natured, full of love and hugs and snuggles. And despite their differences, the boys developed a fast friendship which seems only to solidify and strengthen with each passing year. They have no concept of what life would be like without the other, and they talk a lot about how lucky they are. Max said yesterday, "Having a brother is like a built-in friend." I didn't bother asking him about the little sister...

Max continues to display all of those fabulous character traits we came to love in his infancy. He is affectionate, passionate, dramatic, and wears his heart gigantically on his sleeve for the world to see. He loves slapstick, board games, video games, and anything cute, silly or funny. And he is complicated. Boy, is he complicated. His reactions to people and situations are forever a surprise to me, as much perhaps as they are to him. His exclusive friendship contract with the many girls in his life has just added a clause to include a few boys. It seems Max may be exploring his tougher side for now. No matter. He is a delight. He is my all-around buddy, my partner in crime, my silly giggling roll-around-on-the-floor kind of boy. And he's turning five! Happy Birthday, dear Max, Happy Birthday to you...cha-cha-cha!

Self Portrait Tuesday: Personal History #2

After my grandmother passed away last Spring, my mom spent weeks going through the house: sorting, organizing, putting things in order. As you can imagine it was a gigantic task and each day brought small discoveries which filled her with every conceivable emotion. One morning she was working in my grandparents' bedroom and inside one of the dresser drawers she found this little hinged wooden box, a 2 inch cube, decoratively carved and delicately painted. Inside was this photograph, a perfect fit nuzzled within the box's golden interior. My reaction upon receiving this surely must have mirrored my mother's upon finding it. Tears flowed freely as I cast my eyes on this secret treasure, long forgotten inside its hiding place, carefully pressed there long ago by the woman I so achingly miss.

I don't remember the exact taking of this photo, but I remember many days that it could have been. We'd taken the bus downtown (my mom, grandma and I), browsed around some stores, stopped for ice cream at the mezzanine of Lippman's department store, and headed across the street to Woolworth's for some little trinket for me. There we stepped into the photo booth and the moment was frozen, recorded forever in black and white. I usually took pictures with my mom or dad, or later with my brother, or much later with my friends. I didn't know I ever took one with her. I don't know what happened to the rest of the series. We probably divided them up and I used tape to stick them to my mirror, or the wall next to my bed. But what I like best about this one is the way her whole beautiful face smiles. On the outside she could be very shy, and didn't really like having her picture taken. In most of our family photos she's looking to the side or off into the distance, although always with a smile. But this is the real her. This is exactly the face I see in my minds eye when I think of her. The most beautiful, loving, smiling, laughing, sparkling, elegant, graceful face. And I really, really miss it.

Good Day Sunshine

I guess it's been raining a lot around here. Today we were driving in the car and the sun, in all it's brilliant glory, made a full appearance from behind some very grey storm clouds. I practically caused a collision. "Zöe!" I cried, "Look! It's the sunshine! Isn't it beautiful? Doesn't it feel warm and nice on your face?" In the rearview mirror I watched her look quizzically out the window, catch a golden beam of light on her face, flinch, and squeeze her eyes shut. She buried her face in the side of her carseat and began to cry, like a vampire shriveling from the first rays of the sunrise, "Oh...OW!! Eyes! OW! Eyes! Eyes! Eyes! No!" Has it really been that long?

Self Portrait Tuesday: Personal History

I've been wanting to join this flickr group for a while now, and finally got around to figuring the whole thing out. And over the weekend we purchased a scanner/printer/copier all-in-one, so it makes it possible to scan some photos that have been on my list to write about anyway!

This photograph was taken in the summer of 1975, outside of my cousin Jubal's house (that's him on the horse with me) in NE Portland, very close to where we live now. There was a man who roamed the neighborhood with his pony "Trooper," charging a small amount for children to have their picture taken on horseback with all of his cowboy accoutrements. We were at home that day when my Aunt Mary called to tell us "the pony guy" was in the neighborhood. We made it over just in time for some pictures, and according to my folks it was the last summer the pony guy came around, so we always felt really lucky for having the experience. I don't really remember the whole thing, but I love this picture because it speaks to me of everything wonderful in my childhood. A warm sunny day in short sleeves, my best wonderful boy at my side, our parents in the periphery smiling, laughing, and an endless sidewalk to run and chase and play.

Corners of My Home

I love the new project started by Soulemama in which folks are sharing whatever corners, items, objects, walls, or rooms inspire them in their homes. You can check out other peoples' photos here.

Here's our office! I've been on a mission this week to get our little office up, organized and running. This view through the doorway is what I see when I'm in the kitchen, looking down the hallway. It's been such a great excuse to fuel my office supply habit: new desk lamp, letter holder, bulletin boards, pushpins, boxes from the Container Store, a wastebasket, paper shredder. Whoopee! On the desk you can see my wonderful Christmas gift from Eric...a new iMac!

I still have one more shelf to assemble as well as a file cabinet. And of course at some point the walls will be painted as well. I'm thinking a nice steel blue. What you see here are walls stripped of the crazy brown/gold wagon-wheel wall paper of the 1960's. Fun!

How on earth did I survive without all of these accessories? Actually that's a very good question. Right before we moved I found Max's birth certificate stuffed inside an old Trader Joe's bag with some completely random junk in the basement! Our family will clearly benefit from me getting my organizational act together.


The really fun part is that my desk sits in exactly the same location where my grandfather's desk sat so many years ago, looking out the doorway into the goings-on of the kitchen. I used to sit here as a kid and play a made-up game dubbed "Mrs. Schultz" with my brother and cousins. I'd wear my grandmothers big black-rimmed glasses (think Harry Potter), through which I could barely see, and sit at my grandfather's desk barking orders to all of my office underlings. Gee, I guess the more things change the more they stay the same.

Something New

It's funny how a small change, something new, can produce a complete attitude adjustment.

These first few days of 2006 have been really cranky for me. I want all of the Christmas decorations to put themselves away. Guess what? Christmas is over! Our tree is still in the living room, the stockings are still hanging from their corners of the mantle, my Snow Village continues to evoke holiday cheer from small, now-darkened windows. Eric has yet to dismantle his ginormous inflatable, light-up waving Santa who stands on the front lawn in all of his jolly glory. On the way back from school today I overheard a mom say to her daughters, "Isn't Santa supposed to be back in the North Pole by now?" Yes! He is! Thanks for pointing that out!

Apparently taking down all of this Christmas stuff is something I'm supposed to do. Why can't I ever remember that when I'm putting it up? Oh well, how quickly we fall into the next trap. The thing that got me moving yesterday, the thing that got me to take down and throw out all of the crunchy once-fresh garland from the banister and elsewhere, was the thought of Valentine's Day. I'm such a sucker for a new decorating task! Although I feel I must explain that Valentine's Day has always been my favorite. It's not just about an expression of love to my one and only, but to my entire circle of family and friends. And even better than that is an infusion of some glorious, glittery red, purple, pink, and orange in the middle of a gloomy, rainy winter. Bring it on!

But before I could face all of that Christmas deconstruction, I did something easier and made my blog blue. Voila! Mood lifted! Happy New Year! Why can't it always be that easy?

Round Two: Creature Cantina

We've finished our second round of stuffed creatures in anticipation of Auntie Andrea's visit from Pasadena. Max designed the green guy which he named "Needle." Apparently he scanned around, while trying to decide upon his creature's name, and settled his eyes upon one of many sewing notions on the dining room table. Needle was born. Jack's is the black spider with four eyes, aptly named "Web." The first round were a total hit with my parents, as well as Cabel and Nicole. The boys were very excited to give them, after many long conversations about which one to give to whom. Just before Max handed his to Cabel and Nicole, he gave it a big hug and said quietly, "I'm gonna miss you, guy." I felt terrible and realized that, um, maybe we need to make a few for us to keep. Duh. That's next on the agenda.

Flip Side

Well, now you all can get the flip side of life in Meegan Blue Land. Eric has a new blog. 'Nuff said.

The Best Day

WARNING: If you are Eric, Cabel, Nicole, mom or dad please read no further! This post contains some serious spoilers regarding Christmas gifts!

Eric stayed home today, and very generously took Zöe with him on a morning-about-town. It was like an early Christmas present...they were gone for four hours! This enabled me to complete many unfinished tasks that I've been scratching my head over, wondering how in the world they'd get done by Christmas. I bought some canvases from Michael's last week and each of the kids did a painting for Eric.
This was much harder than I imagined it would be, but they turned out better than I dreamed. Each of the boys did a sketch first, and then begrudgingly penciled it onto the canvas. It took us several sessions over a period of days, but that was good becasue they'd get all tired after a while and start laying on the floor, rolling around. Spacing things out kept the project more fresh. I don't have a picture of Zöe's yet. Hers was the hardest to do by far. She loved doing it and has a lot of confidence with a paintbrush, but things just became kind of a mish mash. I kept the colors in one family: red, pink, orange, maroon. That way we didn't end up with a big brown puddle, and it worked for the most part. The other project we finished today are stuffed creatures for Cabel and Nicole, and my mom and dad. The boys each drew a creature on paper, helped me pick out fabric and I made their image into a stuffed animal which they helped stuff. They're cool and I definitely want to make more, especially since Zöe is in love and will hardly let go of Jack's "Red Eye Guy." It's amazing how much I can get done with just a little bit of toddler-free time. Merry Christmas everyone!

Look Judy, it's Santy Claus!

If you live in Portland, I really hope you've had the chance to visit Santaland on the 10th floor of the downtown Meier and Frank store. After this Christmas it will be no longer. This particular Santaland has been one of my yearly holiday experiences since childhood, and I'm really struggling to imagine what next year will be like when the whole thing is gone. Laden with winter coats, mittens, scarves and hats the stuffy elevator ride from the main floor is a test of determination as difficult for grown-ups as it is for the children inadvertently stepping on their toes. The elevator makes multiple stops on it's ascent to the 10th floor, opening it's doors onto floors void of customers where no passengers enter or exit. At the top at last, the elevator spills it's tightly packed riders out into a chaotic inferno of Christmas activity. Santaland. The murmur of adult voices is punctuated by those of children, crying out in glee and in fear of all that awaits them inside. Snaking lines of families waiting to visit with Santa wind their way around the gigantic room. Children press their noses to Plexiglas as they spy on little wide-eyed animatronic elves, repeatedly putting bows on gifts in their dusty workshops. And the very special thing which makes this place unique comes grinding it's way around the room, suspended from the ceiling, earning the attention of every Christmas reveler. The Monorail. Children run for the back of the room, ducking if they must under the archway which separates the riders from the onlookers. There was a time when height was unimportant and I rode many times into my teens, giggling from inside with my friend Sally. Now they are scrutinized for size, climb the narrow wooden stairs in groups of ten with no help from parents allowed, and then are carefully arranged into three cars being very mindful of pinched fingers and squished toes.
From down below a crop of faces can be seen peeking out from the windows of the train. Children clutch their tiny fingers to the wire as they scour the pack of grown-ups for a wave from a familiar face. And then, with a jerk, they're off. The loading platform is left far behind as the train lurches around the room, a chorus of small voices from above calling for the attention of Santa Claus in his chair by the fire. Twice around the room and the ride is over. Children reluctantly stomp down a different set of narrow stairs only to race back under the archway for another ride. When they can finally be pulled away, lunch in the Georgian Room (on the same floor) completes the day. A very "fancy" affair with tablecloths, cloth napkins, and lots of grandmothers wearing hats, even the smallest child feels grown-up in such a place. Waiters bustle, silver clatters on china, and Christmas is just around the corner.

Color!

Last weekend my parents helped me paint the living room and dining room. They are expert room-painters, among other things (check out my mom's paintings in the link above), and we were able to crank out both of the spaces in a pretty short amount of time. Eric was the hired hand in the babysitting department and he did a great job keeping Zöe's fingers out of the wet paint. It feels great to have some color on the walls! I didn't even realize how void we were of color until we got it up there. The green is a Martha Stewart color from Sherwin Williams called "Galax" and the rusty red is called "Blush" from Devine Color . Next on deck for a color overhaul is the kitchen. I've been priming it for weeks now. There are so many cabinets, corners, nooks and crannies! It will be changing from it's orange/olive green color scheme to the same Tuscany yellow (a happy, warm, orange-yellow color) that was in our old house, which looks good with all of the stainless appliances. I've got a "Hummingbird" blue (also from Martha) for the small bathroom in which the sink and toilet are that same color, oh my! I've chosen another Devine color for the office, a dark steel-blue called "Denim." And lastly, Devine "Ale" for the entry way/staircase. Whew! That's a whole lotta paintin'! We're having Eric's office Christmas party here next Friday night. Do you think I can get it all done by then? Yeah, right. Instead you'll find me in my new cozy chair (thanks mom and dad!) reading the newest Harry Potter, which I am just now getting around to reading. Now, where's that eggong?

A Monster Surprise

We had a crazy morning this morning, running around trying to get things accomplished while somehow having fun with three little kids at the same time. It really didn't work. So by the time Zöe's nap time rolled around I was really ready to hit some of the local crafty gatherings with my friend Holly. We ended up at "Riches at Rimskys" which had a great and varied group of local craftsters. There was one in particular that I was looking forward to seeing...Jennifer of Dishy Duds whose stuff I have been admiring for a long, long time. In particular, her monster tees are amazing, beautiful, and so, so unique and fun! It was so great to meet her and we had a nice chat about Portland, crafty stuff, life with kids, cool shops, blogs, and other good stuff. I was really coveting her cool monster tees when she completely took me by surprise and gifted me with one! I was speechless. After the crummy morning I'd had, her generous, spontaneous gesture really lifted my heart. The boys were too excited when they saw it and are now planning a schedule of who gets to wear it on which days. Thanks Jennifer, you made us all so happy with your fabulous blue-eyed monster!